Cabin Fever
by Dufferooni
Summary: OPU No Pairings. What happens to the crew when they get cooped up on the ship for WAY too long? Cabin fever of course! Insanity, madness, and a sheep named Usopp. How much better could you get? Complete!


**OPU  
No Pairings**

**Only warning would be swearing, I guess, but I don't think there's even that much of that. **

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to repeat what I say on every other fic? I don't own One Piece! DX **

_**-A/N- Mmk, this is just pure silliness. I got the idea from the song 'Cabin Fever' which is in Muppet Treasure Island. I don't own that either. Annnnd, I didn't check it or proof it, and I couldn't be really bothered. It's meant to be random, so the pace is meant to be jerky, i guess. Anyway. See what you think. :) I don't really know that much about Cabin Fever. It's an insane form of Claustrophobia, I think. Makes them go cuckoo. And I don't think it is curable, but eh. This is fiction. XD enjoy! **_

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_**Cabin Fever**_

_By Plushie_

Luffy huffed and sighed as Merry bobbed almost lifelessly in the middle of the ocean. They weren't moving… at all. The wind had died completely. Nami had said that it would return, she could feel it, but she didn't know when. Maybe a day, two at most. They'd already been at sea for two weeks. How much longer would it be before they reached a damn island and were able to stretch their legs a bit? The tension was showing in the crew. Sanji and Zoro were fighting more often, and harder than ever. Even getting to the point where they were at each other's throats quite literally, barely able to keep from killing the other.

Luffy wouldn't play any game they'd played in the last week, but they'd played every game anyway, so he had nothing to do but stare at the ocean like a stunned mullet. Chopper had used up all his potions and experiment kits, along with Usopp who had now reverted to using the very last of his precious stores of paints and acrylics to do pictures of a scene they were already looking at. The ocean. Blue seemed to be the only colour he had left. Sanji was quite literally starting to lose his hair over the matter, their carefully rationed food having dwindled to barely a scraping in the fridge.

Fishing was a waste of time and effort, as a) they had no bait and b) they weren't in an area that was populated by many edible fish. It was mainly eels and creatures that _could _be used in cooking, but once again, they were knocked back by the fact they had no bait. Zoro and Robin seemed to be the only ones really not worrying too badly about their situation. Zoro, mainly because he slept most of the time anyway, and because his resources were food, wine/rum or some form of alcohol, and his swords.

"We're out of alcohol." Sanji commented as he walked past. Zoro twitched violently.

"Damn it…" he noised.

Okay, so now it was only Robin who wasn't worrying badly about their situation. She only needed her coffee (which she had a rather large supply of, as only she drank it) and her books. Nami was having minor spasms over the fact that their fresh water supply was also running out very quickly. Which meant soon, her mikans wouldn't have any watering, and would most likely die. And then there was the fact that a bath would be out of the question for the devil fruit users aboard Merry, as salt water would weaken them too much. They could, but someone would have to be with them. 'Buddies', as Chopper dubbed them, were to be used.

Zoro for Luffy (not by the swordsman's choice), Nami and Robin (for obvious reasons of them both being female) and Usopp for Chopper, (which really didn't make sense as Chopper was a reindeer anyway.). There was the little creature's dignity, though. So they were down to their very last supplies, and while Sanji and Nami decided they would go bald for the summer, the others panicked in their own strange little ways. It began with Luffy. Despite having played everything, he managed to find a game that they hadn't played before. It was childish, and a little stupid, but it was the only thing he could think of that they could do. So, getting up from his position on the top of the figurehead, he slid down and then moved across the deck to where the swordsman lay, twitching and sweating slightly in his 'Damn it, no alcohol!' panic attack.

"Ne, Zoro! I thought up a game I wanna play!" the captain announced, crouching down by his first mate. Zoro turned a hard gaze on him.

"That's wonderful, Luffy." he replied sarcastically, "Leave me alone." Luffy pouted a little.

"But… if you play, the others will too. And it might take our minds off not moving." the captain explained. Zoro heaved a heavy sigh. As much as he hated to admit it, Luffy was right. At that very moment, he could see Sanji across the deck, patting his pockets and emptying his jacket, trying to find more cigarettes he may have stored there for a time like this. When he failed, he tugged his jacket on rather fiercely, jerked the collar down, cracked his neck, and stomped his way up to the back deck to sulk. With no nicotine fix, Sanji would lose it pretty quickly. Not that Zoro was _worried_, he just didn't want to have to put up with the chef's pissy mood changes while he was going through withdrawal. His eyes narrowed as he heard the sound of splintering wood and then a curse from the back deck, followed by Sanji apologising profusely to Nami for swearing in front of her. … Ok, yeah, he was mildly worried.

"Ok… What's this game, and it better be good." Zoro said, turning to look at Luffy again. The captain grinned widely and stood up triumphantly, brandishing a finger in the air as he began his announcement of the most awesome game on earth.

"I spy!" he cried. Zoro's eyes slanted heavily.

"No way in hell." he noised as he got to his feet and began walking away. That was when the change began. Luffy's eyes darkened a little, before he reached out an arm and grabbed the swordsman's shoulder. With a harsh jerk, he'd thrown the man down at his feet and was frowning down at him, eyes taking on an almost insane gleam.

"I want to play, I spy." He growled slightly and Zoro blinked, before his eyes narrowed. That wasn't… normal, for Luffy to be like that with his nakama.

"… Right." the swordsman responded, sitting up a little, "Oi, everyone… Luffy wants to play I spy!" Chopper and Usopp were there in a heart beat, bored out of their poor little minds. Sanji was nowhere to be seen, but Nami and Robin made their way down to at least see what all the fuss was. By the time everyone, bar Sanji, had gotten there, Luffy was normal again. Zoro glanced at Chopper, then Usopp, but they were too busy whining about Sanji not coming.

"I'll go get him." Zoro announced, getting to his feet and hurrying away, half expecting to feel Luffy's hand on his shoulder, jerking him back again. But nothing happened, and so he finally spotted the chef lingering around the back of the ship, licking at the corner of his lips where the last remnants of nicotine were sure to remain. Grimacing a little in disgust, the swordsman moved over.

"Oi, Luffy wants to play a game." he said, his voice unexpectedly… tolerant, around the chef.

"So what?" Sanji half snapped, eyes still resting on the horizon. Zoro frowned.

"So… I don't think he's himself. I think something's wrong…" the swordsman replied. Sanji blinked, and turned to face him… and Zoro yelled. He jerked backwards away from the face that was now in front of him. Two large, bulging eyes along with a big red nose and a painted on smile that looked just plain evil. He wasn't afraid of clowns, far from it, but this thing… it wasn't a clown! It was… it was… well it was just plain, goddamn scary!

"… oi, shit marimo. What's your problem?" Sanji snapped. Zoro grimaced heavily, shaking his head and sighing a little in relief as the blonde's face was back to normal.

"… Nothing. Come on." turning away before anything could happen again, the swordsman led the way down onto the deck where the game was about ready to begin. Sanji seated himself beside Nami, glancing at Zoro like he was nuts and then turning to look at Luffy again. Zoro took his seat between Chopper and Usopp and relaxed a little when no more clowns decided they were going to pop out at him. Luffy grinned widely now that the entire crew was there.

"Okay! I spy with my little eye, something beginning with… S!"

"Sky." Everyone said at once, eyes slanted. Luffy pouted heavily.

"Not fair…" he mumbled, before shaking it off and grinning again, "Okay! Who wants the next go?"

"I'll go!" Usopp said, getting to his feet and offering his space in the circle, to Luffy. The captain sat down, grinned at Zoro and then turned back to the sniper.

"I spy… with great Usopp-sama's eye… something beginning with… M!" he called, putting his hands on his hips and grinning in pure triumph.

"Moron." Sanji commented derisively from the side. Usopp's eyes slanted at him.

"No." he returned.

"Merry!" Luffy cried, grinning and patting the wooden boards under his backside. Usopp shook his head.

"No." he replied. Zoro scratched his chin idly, glancing around the ship and leaning back a little.

"Mid-day?" he guessed.

"You can't see midday, moron!" Sanji snapped. Zoro's face heated up, before he glared at the chef.

"It was just a guess, get over it, idiot!" he returned. Sanji was about to jump to his feet, ready for a fight, when a voice interrupted.

"Enough!" Nami barked at them, ending the fight before it got into full swing. Sanji instantly dropped back to the deck again, willing to do anything Nami-_swaaaan_ said, even when craving his cigarettes so badly.

"Witch…" Zoro muttered under his breath. Chopper, who had been thinking about this particular puzzle since Usopp had announced the letter, finally squealed a little in triumph.

"Mast!" he cried. Usopp blinked, before he nodded a little, deflating at the same time. He had been sure no one would think it was something so simple, when it was. Trust Chopper.

"Yeah, that's right. Smart Chopper!" he praised with a half-hearted 'I'm happy for you, but damn I wanna pout right now' smile. The little reindeer blinked for a second before grinning widely and leaping to his feet.

"Yay! I won! … I'm smart!" and he began his little wiggle dance at being praised so well. He wiggled… and wiggled… until he finally wiggled away from the group and continued dancing around the ship. Usopp blinked.

"It wasn't that great-a comment…" he muttered, blinking as he continued watching Chopper noodling. Zoro watched the little creature and then turned back to the group, only to yell again as every single one of his nakama's faces, were now painted up like a clown's.

"Something wrong, Zoro? Hyuk." Luffy said, goofy tone making the swordsman pull away a little. What the hell was going on here!? He looked around at everyone, shook his head.

"You're all damned clowns!" he yelled and then ran away. The others looked at each other and blinked before jumping as a repeated "CLOWNS!!" was heard.

"What the hell was that about…?" Sanji asked, glancing at the others. Luffy chuckled.

"I dunno." he replied, before bursting into laughter and rolling around on the deck, "What do you think, Captain? I don't know, Luffy! Ahaaaaa!" Nami squeaked and moved quickly away from the now insanely laughing rubber boy rolling around on the deck.

"What in the world!?" Usopp cried, "The world's gone mad! Mad I say! MAAHAA… Baa… Baaaaaa!" He was next to go, suddenly jumping to his feet and then flopping onto all fours, pretending he was a sheep and trying to graze on non-existent grass. Robin hummed a little, glancing at the madly laughing Luffy, Usopp the sheep, and Chopper the noodler. Zoro was on the other side of the ship by now, still flailing about clowns and madness.

"I think they have Cabin Fever…" she said quietly with a small smile, "They've gone insane due to the fact that we are no longer moving. Too long cramped in one place." Nami blinked, and then glanced over to Sanji.

"Oh… so that would explain why Sanji is now clucking like a chicken, right?"

"Brawk… bokbokbok, brawwwwk!" the chef clucked, before grabbing his own neck, "Food! I'll cook up a nice chicken roast… with sage… Ahhaa…" Nami blinked as Sanji then, with his hand still around his own throat, flailed around like a caught chicken, squawking and squealing.

"Navigator-san… are you feeling ok?" Robin asked, watching as Sanji ran off and tripped over Usopp. Zoro ran past this time, waving his swords around.

"I'm not going to lose to CLOWNS! Damn it!" and he disappeared across to the other side of the deck. Nami shook her head.

"No, I feel fine. But how're we gonna get these idiots back to normal?" she asked, clocking Usopp over the head as he tried to eat her skirt, "PERVERT!" Usopp looked up at her with a dull, bored expression and let out a long 'Baaaaaaaaa.' as a response before moving away again. Robin shook her head.

"We could give them a sedative, perhaps. And then once we get to land and they have the chance to stretch their legs again, then they should return to normal." she replied. Nami sighed a little.

"There's nothing else to be done?"

"I don't think so, Navigator-san."

Sanji ran past again, still with a hand around his throat.

"Stupid chicken! Get back here, damn it! … BRAWK! Bokbokbok, buhGECK!"

"Okay, let's hurry up. Like, now." Nami said, getting to her feet and moving for the store room where Chopper's medical supplies were.

--INSANITYISCONTAGIOUSYAY!--

It wasn't easy getting a hold of her now insane nakama.

"Nami-san! Help me get this chicken!" Sanji cried, shaking himself around, "Buh-GECK!"

"Of course, Sanji-kun." Nami replied, taking his arm and quickly injecting the sedative. Robin caught the chef before he hit the deck and then hurriedly laid him out beside the mast where he lay peacefully.

"One down…" the older woman said, glancing at Nami. Pulling out another needle, the navigator moved for the next person, Usopp.

"Baaaa…" Usopp noised, raising slanted eyes to her. He saw the needle… and 'Baaaa-ed' again, before Nami injected him with the sedative, and he joined poor Sanji by the mast. Chopper wasn't to be found, and Zoro had disappeared off the face of the Earth. Luffy was having a nice conversation with himself which involved four people. Luffy, Captain, Pirate King and Snuggles the monkey. Who knew where 'Snuggles' came from, and quite frankly, Nami was sure she really didn't_ want_ to know. As soon as the boy saw the needle, he flailed and got to his feet, bolting for a barrel to hide in.

"I'm hiding in there, Luffy! No you're not, Pirate King! Damn it, I get first dibs Captain! …… I like to HUG! Nobody cares, SNUGGLES!" And with a frog like jump, Luffy dived into said barrel… and effectively knocked himself out by hitting his head on the hard wood at the bottom of it. Nami looked at Robin, who blinked right back, before smiling serenely.

"I rather liked that easy method." she said. Nami chuckled and looked around.

"Chopper?" She called, knowing Zoro was going to be the hardest due to his wanting to kill every clown that came near him. The little reindeer came noodling down the stairs and over to her.

"Ye-e-es?" he giggled. Nami sighed a little.

"C'mere, Chopper…" she said quietly, before taking his little arm and carefully injecting the sedative. The little reindeer joined the others, and now only Zoro remained. He was still fighting nothing, twisting and trying to attack the clowns that were supposedly trying to eat him alive. Nami shook her head, lips twisting in mild annoyance as Zoro did a fancy little twirl.

She glanced at Robin, who took the opportunity to grab the swordsman with as many arms as she could. Nami moved forward, injected the sedative, and then sighed in much relief as the older teen crumpled to the deck.

"Well… that was easier than I thought it would be…" she commented. Robin smiled a little.

"I didn't think it _would _ be hard, navigator-san. Perhaps annoying, but not difficult." she nodded.

--KEEPREADINGANDI'LLGIVEYOUACOOKIEYAY!--

Luffy blinked and looked over to Nami, who was twitching in her sleep on the deck chair.

"Naa, Zoro? What's with Nami?" he asked. Zoro looked up from where he was polishing his swords, and shrugged.

"Some form of nightmare." he replied, looking back to his sword again, "She might have Cabin Fever."

"Eh? What's that?" Luffy inquired curiously, "Do the cabin's get fevers? Is that why it's so hot down there sometimes?" Zoro slanted annoyed green eyes at the captain, but sighed when Luffy didn't just go away and leave him alone.

"No. Cabin fever happens when someone is confined on a ship for a long period of time. It's like going insane." he replied. Nami twitched again, then sat bolt upright, panting heavily as she looked around.

"Nami-san? Are you alright?" Sanji asked from nearby, where he was serving Robin a cold drink.

"U-uh… y-yeah…" the navigator nodded, brushing a hand through her hair quickly, "Just a nightmare…"

"Ah… as long as you're okay, Nami-san." Sanji smiled a little, but threw her a concerned glance as he walked away. Nami sighed heavily, rubbing at her temples and feeling a heady sense of relief wash through her that everything that had happened, had been just a nightmare.

"Wow, Robin." she chuckled a little, sidling over to her friend so the others couldn't hear, "I had the weirdest dream."

"Oh, Navigator-san?" the archaeologist blinked, looking up and waiting for her to elaborate.

"Yeah. Everyone went nuts and we had to go around giving them sedatives." Nami smiled, finding it funnier and funnier, the more she thought about it. Robin didn't seem to see the funny side of this particular joke and glanced to the side.

"… Navigator-san… that actually happened…" she said, dropping her voice a few octaves. Nami blinked, her eyes widening.

"… You've gotta be kidding me…" she noised quietly before looking up as Sanji's voice floated out from the kitchen.

"… Damn it! That chicken's back again, and this time it's not getting away! Come back here!" he yelled, "… BUHGECK!!" Nami just let herself fall back into her deck chair, and go back to sleep. No way was she dealing with that all over again…

_-End-_

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_**This is what happens when Plushie watches that song and movie, WAY too much. B Hope you enjoyed! :D **_


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